About four years ago I realized that many aspects of my life that were not working for me were of my own doing. I came to the understanding that we attract circumstances and experiences. Good, bad or however they are perceived, simply by our way of thinking. This was an epiphany of sorts but it was also the beginning of a descent into an even darker place. A place where I was forced to reconcile my own way of thinking. And in that darkness I found a light...just a tiny pinpoint of light, one that had always been there just sometimes brighter than it was other times. What I also discovered was that staying busy, wishing away, complaining or selling myself out was in no way the avenue to help me attract the situations and experiences that I did want. I even found out that the way I was praying, "Oh! Dear God please don't give me any more of that!" was vibrationally giving me more of what I didn't want. So I began to learn to ask for the situations and experiences I did want.
One of those prayers was, "Please give me less!" Less stuff, less worry, less attachment, less expectations, less criticism, less judgements, less responsibility. I said, "Please allow me to live in a more simple way. A way that will allow more time to just be. A way that opens me up to more different experiences and better relationships." And so it was. The space began to open and I began to experience what less is all about. But everytime during those first three years that I allowed fear or doubt to creep in, things would slow down. A few times, it seemed that my progress towards liberation had come to a complete halt. And again, I would ask and the Universe in all It's wisdom working with all the Universal laws would answer. Things would move and shift in the direction of my desires. Sometimes I would forget and listen to others label the experiences I was going through and buy into the words and the labels. "Oh, that's so ______.", they would say. When secretly I was trying to work on not attaching any emotionality to the process. Ultimately the Universe was responding to my requests. Why should I have been so arrogant to question exactly how things were going to take place? Everything happens for a reason...it is only our perception of the way things work that give them either a negative or positive charge. Growth, change, metamorphisis isn't always a walk in the park but when it gets us to where we want to go we discover it's was worth it all along.
I wanted less and now I have less. It feels good. It feels liberating...even though sometimes I think that we still have too much stuff. Annie Leonard's "The Story of Stuff" really propelled my thinking about material things and helped me and my family deal with the attachments that we have to things. During our de-stuffing process there were many times that we stopped to remind ourselves that it was just a "thing". Even since we have been on the road, we have been liberated from a few "things" we thought were important. Always an opportunity to learn and accept more grace. I have also learned that with some relationships, less is more too. We don't always have to always be with or even near loved ones. Sometimes being apart makes the time that is spent together much sweeter. I love abundance, I love the way it flows through an uninterrupted Divine Source. What made up my desire for less were just things, situations and circumstances that needed clearing for me to really receive the kind of abundance I'm in need of most.
Of course, some of the situations and experiences that I have more of now will change over time. Like the time I spend with my children, right now I have more, but someday that will evolve into less. I know this and I celebrate our togetherness now in this moment. I have always loved the quote, "Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it". I love it because it reminds me on days that I feel too full of children, travel, togetherness, small spaces in the RV or even a sink full of dishes that I don't want to wash that my dreams came true...that I got what I wished for! And in that moment, I say a prayer of gratitude and thankfulness. Oh, and that tiny light? It like to think of it as kinda like a blazing hyperradiant fresnel lens!